by Doug Scott, LCSW

The following is a guide (not “the” guide; not the “best” guide; not the “only” guide) for those who are inspired by the Law of One material and want to put into practice some of the ways of the adept in helping other selves.

I’ve worked as a counselor for 22 years and have developed an approach for such work based upon synthesis of many different sources including the Law of One material, graduate work in theology, graduate work in clinical social work, many trainings, books, and much experience. I call it the SH!PS Approach. The following email exchange is from a friend and member of the Building 4th community.

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She states:

Hi Doug,

As we were discussing the SH!PS approach and deeply holding space for another, I was hoping to get your thoughts on how you manage those individuals who are just wanting a receptacle for their life’s dramas as opposed to growing and healing.  I really do love hearing peoples’ journeys and all the components that shaped them into who they have become.  As I mentioned last week, as an empath, I have had to learn to set healthy boundaries which has been a HUGE catalyst for me and definitely feel that that is by design!!  I find this to be a tad challenging because on the one hand, I want to listen and give each person compassion, but I don’t think it’s a good exercise to just have someone complain about the same situations (with different costumes sometimes) over and over and over again.  I’ve had situations where they can see that they need to set boundaries in their lives but then they just outline a slew of reasons why they shouldn’t/can’t/won’t and simply want to get back to the business of complaining. 

What I’ve found is that with this type of person, I end up feeling all of their feelings (of having been disrespected) on their behalf.  I have worked to “clean my house” of disrespectful people by setting boundaries and letting some friendships go, and when I take on the disrespect that others are complaining about, I feel it all over again as if they’ve moved their icky boxes into my newly clean house… so, I’d love your thoughts on managing this type of person and on setting a boundary with someone who just simply wants to complain and that’s their “happy space.”   I certainly don’t find this to be the case with most people, but they do seem to be out there!

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Doug’s Response:

Thanks for the question and the interest in SH!PS. One way that I conceive of this goes something like this:

1) We are all mirrors for each other. Most of us do not know this.

2) We are mirrors for each other because that is how the Creator as 3rd density entities grows and learns about the nature of love– to be God and not know it, to see God as the other and not know it, to see God as the creation and not know it–until the Significant Self (the self that attempts to learn and make meaning and decide what to do next) begins to dance between the external world and internal world.  

3) At some point, the Significant Self realizes that the consciousness stage of the internal world is most often projected on the external world, AND that the external world often projects and influences one’s internal world (as in, your parents affirm traits they want you to do more often)

4) Development continues, and the Significant Self begins to see the nature of psychospiritual evolution, or metanoia, which is the process of opening the nous (heartmind) more and more.

5) As the Significant Self embraces the nature of 3rd density as a most important learning environment for learning about the self, learning about the nature of love, learning about the nature of free will as loving actions oriented towards bringing infinite unity into incarnations of wholeness within spacetime, adepthood is born.  — Ra states this:

As the adept becomes a more and more consciously crystallized entity it gradually manifests more and more of that which it always has been since before time; that is, the One Infinite Creator (75.23).

6) The novice adept becomes very intentional in paying attention to how catalysts, which Ra defines as, “anything that assaults the senses,” are received by their unconscious mind and interpreted by the conscious mind (learning our biases, or particular lenses through which we make sense of it all, gives the adept clues about how the unconscious mind receives catalysts. And asking the self, “Why do I feel *this* way when *that* happens?” and “What assumptions am I making? Why do I think or feel this or that way? What might be other ways to view this or that situation?”)

7) The novice adept also feels the irresistible desire to serve others in order to help them. 

8) But if the novice adept is unbalanced in green ray over blue ray, then they are much less effective when faced with the blockages of others, and often get pulled in the maelstrom of bellicosity–and thus get swept away into confusion, suffering, possible addictions, conspiracy mindsets, etc.

9) The novice adept who desires to be a mirror for an other self will mirror what the adept does to themselves: learn how to be the compassionate witness to what arises within.

10) The novice adept becomes an adept proper when they employ the next step: after compassionate witnessing becomes second nature (well practiced and habitual), the adept asks themselves, “What are my core values? What do they mean to me? What do I want to do next based upon my core values?”

11) This takes time. But as the adept does this more and more, they begin to potentiate towards becoming a master adept: one who intentionally fashions, cultivates, stewards, molds, and births wholeness into manifested form.  The Master adept knows that they are a Co-Creator, or fountainhead of the One Infinite Creator’s living will/love/consciousness (light) which converts potential wholeness (Intelligent Infinity or “Truth”) into kinetic wholeness (Intelligent Energy, or “Goodness”) for the sake of the whole, in the name of wholeness, and for the purpose of furthering the Original Thought: That We (the One Infinite Creator) know Ourselves ever more vividly (Love/Light or “Beauty”). 

12) The Master Adept then is a fairly crystalized mirror who desires to serve the other by:

——- minding the flow of catalyst when they are face to face with the blockage of another, and how that catalyst of blockage affects the adepts inner life (called “countertransference” in psychology), compassionately witnessing how they feel affected by the other (what is triggered inside?), 

——- intuiting the nature and scope of the blockage in the other (while minimizing the adept’s own projections upon the other)

——- intuiting the nature of the free will in the situation and making sure that the other’s free will is preserved (the adept does not tell the other what they should or shouldn’t do)

——- if warranted, affirming the nature of the pain or suffering that the other exhibits. The adept shares statements of accompaniment (I get it, I’m in it with you, I can see how you are so [insert emotion], I can see why this is important to you). This is entering into solidarity in SH!PS

——- asking the other about the nature of their venting or complaining. Does the other just want to vent but not address the issue? If venting only is chosen, fine… how might this help the other after the venting session concludes? We can ask the other. Does the other want to figure out how to address their problems more efficiently? If yes, then asking how the other envisions what goals they have is key!! (name three goals that you’d like to achieve. define what the other means by each goal. What emotions does the other believe they will feel when they have achieved their goal?) What are the core values from which the other operates and sees the world? How might they want to start accomplishing their goals (today!!) and by what concrete behavioral acts will they instantiate their goals today? Ask the other in what ways or how would they want the adept to accompany them as they attempt to accomplish their goals? The adept does not assume but asks how the other wants the adept to show up in their lives in the role of the mirror. This is cultivating hope in SH!PS

——- assessing the developmental level of the other. The adept also helps the other to realize that process or journey is worthy and worth it, but patience is required.  Celebrate the small steps. Do small things with great love. Cheer and affirm while mirroring back your perplexity if the other’s behavior does not match their own stated goals and values. Ask them how they might make sense of a wayward behavior/choice measured against their stated value and goal. Ask the other how they might want to act more congruently with their goals/values the next time the same kind of situation happens again. This is trusting the process in SH!PS

——– inspiring and encourages and affirms and challenges the other to do acts of loving service for someone else ASAP. The adept helps the other articulate what they will do, how they will do it, when they will do it, and invites the other to let the adept know when that act of love service is accomplished. The adept will also help the other process the other’s experiences of doing the act of loving service.

• Cosmic Christ