by Doug Scott, LCSW

In parts two and three of the three-part series introducing Doug Scott, LCSW’s SH!PS Approach, we dive deeper into the transformative power of a metamodern approach to caregiving. The “SH!PS Approach,” is a method designed to foster solidarity and hope in our relationships and interactions. Our host, Doug, shares personal stories and insightful techniques that have proven effective in creating meaningful connections and healing old wounds.

We explore the core components of the SHIPS approach, breaking down the significance of each letter and how they collectively guide us in entering the worldview of others. Doug emphasizes the importance of truly listening, holding space for others, and employing techniques that foster genuine empathy and understanding. Beginning with the  “i” in “ship,” Doug shares that the “i,” or as he writes, it, “!” is the mast of ship, and stands for “Interview,” or sharing of views (entering the view of the other). “S” in “SH!PS” stands for entering into “solidarity.” “H” is cultivating “hope.” “P” is for trusting “process,” and the last letter, “s,” stands for inspiring, encouraging, or modeling “service.”

Join us for an inspiring journey into the heart of human connection, and learn how the SH!PS Approach can help you navigate the complexities of relationships with greater compassion and efficacy.

Audio:

Part 2: https://building4thpodcast.podbean.com/e/ships-approach-part-two/

Unlocking the SH!PS Approach: Part 2 – The Building 4th Podcast

In this enlightening episode, we dive deeper into the transformative power of a metamodern approach to caregiving Doug Scott, LCSW, calls the "SH!PS Approach," a method designed to foster solidarity and hope in our relationships and interactions. Our host, Doug, shares personal stories and insightful techniques that have proven effective in creating meaningful connections and healing old wounds. We explore the core components of the SHIPS approach, breaking down the significance of each letter and how they collectively guide us in entering the worldview of others. Doug emphasizes the importance of truly listening, holding space for others, and employing techniques that foster genuine empathy and understanding. Beginning with the  "i" in "ship," Doug shares that the "i," or as he writes, it, "!" is the mast of ship, and stands for "Interview," or sharing of views (entering the view of the other). "S" in "SH!PS" stands for entering into "solidarity." "H" is cultivating "hope." "P" is for trusting "process," and the last letter, "s," stands for inspiring, encouraging, or modeling "service." The episode also delves into the concept of hope, offering a nuanced definition and practical ways to cultivate it. Using the Law of Three as a framework, Doug explains how affirming, denying, and reconciling forces interact to bring about transformation and new possibilities. Listeners will gain valuable insights into techniques such as reflective listening, expressing gratitude, and inquiring about core values, all aimed at strengthening our ability to connect with and support others. Whether you're seeking to improve your personal relationships or enhance your professional skills, this episode provides a robust toolkit for fostering deeper, more meaningful interactions. Join us for an inspiring journey into the heart of human connection, and learn how the SH!PS Approach can help you navigate the complexities of relationships with greater compassion and efficacy.

Part 3 Audio:

The SH!PS Approach, part 3: Deepening techniques – The Building 4th Podcast

Join us in this last part of three episodes as we delve deeper into the SH!PS Approach. Our host begins with a grounding meditation, inviting us to connect with the Earth's energy and our chakras, setting the stage for a deeper exploration of the SHIPS model: Solidarity, Hope, Inspiring Service, and Trusting the Process. We revisit the concept of Solidarity, likening it to the ship itself – the essential vessel that enables connection and mutual support. The discussion moves into Hope, emphasizing its dual nature as both a feeling and a reality, and how it ties into the cosmic law of three, where every crisis holds the seeds of reconciliation and transformation. The episode features an engaging exercise where participants identify their core values by imagining what they hope to be remembered for at their funeral. This exercise helps bring subconscious values to the forefront, allowing for more intentional living. Listeners are invited to explore their values by reflecting on people they admire and the characteristics they embody. Trusting the Process is another key topic, where various models like "Order, Disorder, and Reorder" and "Forming, Storming, Norming, and Performing" are discussed. The host emphasizes the importance of holy indifference – engaging in actions without attachment to outcomes, allowing for a more genuine and effective service to others. The episode concludes with a focus on Inspiring Service, encouraging listeners to commit to specific acts of service and follow through. This practice not only enriches the lives of others but also deepens one's own spiritual journey by embodying core values in everyday actions. Tune in for a transformative conversation that offers practical tools and profound insights to help you navigate your spiritual growth and personal development journey.

When entering into solidarity, it is important to keep these things in mind:

It is hard being human!!!

Techniques for entering into SOLIDARITY

Some things we can do:

•Really listen so that you can repeat back to the other what you think you heard. (Example: “Okay… let me repeat back what I think I heard you say if please correct me if I’m wrong.”)

•Remember: Connection over correction!

Some things we can say:

•I don’t know your experience with (this thing), but if I were in your shoes, I might feel (this way). What do you think about that?

•I can really tell that (this thing) is import to you.

•How did you get through that (thing)?

•Thanks for sharing your (point of view? opinion? experience?)

Enter Into Solidarity Through Empathy
Voice: Dr Brené Brown Animation: Katy Davis (AKA Gobblynne) http://www.gobblynne.com Production and Editing: Al Francis-Sears and Abi Stephenson

Cultivating HOPE

• Simple definition: An underlying feeling and/or belief that things will be okay in the end… and if it’s not okay, then it’s not yet the end

• Another simple definition from Moltmann: “Hope is the anticipation of a future joy. [Anxiety is anticipated terror].”

• Metaphysically: The Law of Three?

1. In every new arising there are three forces involved: affirming, denying, and reconciling.
2. The interweaving of the three produces a fourth in a new dimension.
3. Affirming, denying, and reconciling are not fixed points or permanent essence attributes, but can and do shift and must be discerned situationally.
4. Solutions to impasses or sticking points generally come by learning how to spot and mediate third force, which is present in every situation but generally hidden.

From Cynthia Bourgeault

Let’s consider a simple example. A seed, as Jesus said, “unless it falls into the ground and dies, remains a single seed” (see John 12:24). If this seed does fall into the ground, it enters a sacred transformative process. Seed, the first or “affirming” force, meets ground, the second or “denying” force (and at that, it has to be moist ground, water being its most critical first component). But even in this encounter, nothing will happen until sunlight, the third or “reconciling” force, enters the equation. Then among the three they generate a sprout, which is the actualization of the possibility latent in the seed—and a whole new “field” of possibility.

The Paschal Mystery is another example, with affirming as Jesus the human teacher of the path of love; denying as the crucifixion and the forces of hatred driving it; and reconciling as the principle of self-emptying, or kenotic love willingly engaged. The fourth, new arising revealed through this weaving is the Kingdom of Heaven, visibly manifest in the very midst of human cruelty and brokenness.

Text:

• Ask the person to imagine that they had passed away and were able to witness their funeral.  After their funeral, they could see their loved ones gathered around and sharing with each other how much they meant to them.  What would be THREE things that they would really hope their loved ones would say?

• Think about 2 people whom you really admire.  Think about why you admire them. Think about the kind of character these people have. If you could name three or four things that they come to mind, what would they be?

• Help the other use their values to more intentionally inform their behavior. This leads to peace and joy!

• How does the other want to live out their values in

• This role? This situation?, or Connect with the future self (Far Future, Near Future, Present Moment)?

Connect with the future self (Far Future, Near Future, Present Moment)

Trust in the PROCESS

• Simplicity, Complexity, Perplexity, Harmony
• Order, Disorder, Reorder
• Received tradition, Deconstruction, Reconstruction
• Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing
• Premodern, Modern, Postmodern, Post-post modern (metamodern)
• “Three steps forward, two steps back”
• “It wasn’t logic that got the other into this worldview and it would not be logic that helps them transcend it.”
• Holy Indifference

Inspire SERVICE

Ask the other person what they want to do today in terms of an act of service that is higher than the transactional level. If not today, tomorrow. Ask them to name it. Ask them if it would be okay if you checked back with them (be specific about when) and see how it (the act of service) went.

• Cosmic Christ