Audio:
Remembering Agency within Despair (A Vision) – The Building 4th Podcast
The conversation in “Deconstruction, Reconstruction” presents a model of psychospiritual development that resonates with metamodernism, particularly its emphasis on navigating paradox and embracing complexity. The central analogy of moving from an “old room” of established beliefs to a “new room” of reconstructed understanding, through a chaotic “liminal space,” mirrors the metamodern concept of oscillation. This process is triggered by a “shock” that disrupts our existing worldview, forcing us to confront the limitations of the “order box” of the old room. Liminal space, while painful and disorienting, is crucial for growth, as it allows for the dismantling of outdated structures and the emergence of new perspectives. The speakers emphasize that navigating this space requires embracing uncertainty and discomfort, resisting the urge to prematurely impose order.
Crucially, the transition to the new room hinges on cultivating “forgiveness, love, and understanding”. This emphasis on compassion and empathy aligns with metamodernism’s rejection of postmodern cynicism and its embrace of sincerity and hope. This reconstruction is not simply a return to a modified version of the old room; it represents a fundamental shift in consciousness, marked by a deeper integration of heart and mind, love and wisdom. This integration necessitates a willingness to act in accordance with this newfound understanding, even at the risk of being perceived as heretical.
Chris, a participant in the conversation, highlights the cyclical nature of this process, suggesting that reconstruction is not a final destination but rather a continuous process of “always entering new rooms,” where each new understanding eventually becomes the “old room” ripe for future deconstruction. This ongoing evolution aligns with the metamodern view of reality as infinitely complex and the pursuit of knowledge as an endless journey. The poem read by Ashton emphasizes the importance of patience and trust in this process, acknowledging that growth unfolds gradually through “stages of instability and disorder”. Ultimately, “Deconstruction, Reconstruction” suggests that psychospiritual development, from a metamodern perspective, involves a continuous dance between order and disorder, knowing and unknowing, ultimately driven by a compassionate engagement with the ever-unfolding mystery of existence.
Transcript
Okay. Excellent. Well, what we’re going to do today, and I if you wouldn’t mind muting, everybody can mute. Um, and then we’ll get started.
Um, what we’re going to do here is I’m going to introduce a a topic and I have a little bit of a couple of slides that I uh prepared and we’re going to launch into a discussion. So, I’m really hoping this this is a discussion. that I’ll lead and the discussion is going to be very important because I think this is where our role as building forth really comes comes forth that is building forth density, building forth the fourth chakra inside ourselves and building forth on our spiritual journey. Fo T building forth and we can if we can learn to weather the deconstruction the disorder of our lives, especially as they pertain to any world views or belief systems, and then learn to navigate that liinal space into reorder or reconstruction. When we can do that um with some level of equinimity and humility, then we give that gift to others. Because it is true that when the student is ready, the teacher appears, but is also Equally true that when the teacher is ready, the student appears. And right now, this world needs guides, humble, authentic guides that can help Earth humanity make this transition from disorder to reorder. Okay. So, that’s kind of what we’re going to be talking about today. So, I’m going to open it up and just give a little bit of a presentation and then that’ll launch us into a conversation. All right. So, let’s get started with um the slideshow. Play from the start. And here we go. So, this is something that I put together a long time ago. It’s actually from a painting that’s in my office. Um and I’d asked the the painter to create using his imagination to create what I often teach. And these are things that I got from Richard Roar and other uh teachers of mine this idea of a journey from the old room to the new room and passing through liinal space. And uh this is really what construction, deconstruction, and reconstruction truly is all about. Whether it’s inside of us or whether it is um outside of us or even our world views. And so I wanted to kind of get us familiar with this particular pattern of the old room, the liinal space and the new room. And the next slide is a lot of symbols. Now um I remember talking to Richard Roar recently and I I gave him a bunch of sli or a few slides that had just images on it and he just started laughing and he says, “Well, you know, Catholics are just so archetypal. They’re just all images. Of course, he’s one, too. And he was laughing because that’s exactly where I where what I do as well. But I’d like to just describe um what I’ve learned through being a counselor for since 2001. Um also in my personal life and then teachers and spiritual teachers that I really admire, they seem to be talking the ways that I’m going to be talking right now and see if it works for you. And then we’re going to be talk then we’ll open up discussion about maybe using some of these terms and ideas and and archetypes um to describe this journey from deconstruction to reconstruction. So uh when if you could uh look here at the blue area uh this was the old room of our lives or the status quo. We’re going to use it right now as the the negotiation place between two opposites. Okay, the two opposites, the first of the two opposites is the one and that is represented metaphysically as the red ray or the the the base or root chakra. It is the one one energy uh one incarnation you as you as me and then the other side of that o the opposite of that is the many the one and the many. You and I are born into the coincidence of opposites that is often referred to in spiritual literature, the coincidence of opposites and that is um the orange ray which is the orange chakra and it’s according to the raw material it is the energy center of personal identity who we think we are. But the orange ray or our second chakra personal identity is something that we are constantly negotiating between those two opposites and that is the one me and you. You are you I am me one you’re one person and then the many when you’re born you’re automatically one person born into your family born into your extended family your culture um community religious community, all of these things. And what keeps us from going insane, I think, early on is the development, the important development of order of a construct. You can think of it as constru u the construction of our house that we’re going to live in or the construction of our um of our way that where we can feel secure. And so, for example, if you can think to um you know, when we go to a a new place where there’s lots of people, for example, like I was just at uh theology beer camp and I didn’t know anybody there. Maybe I knew one or two, but that was it. So I was very aware again of I am one person amongst many and there’s always this question of well who am I in this who am I in that situation in this new situation and that is uh something that you if you learn how to find yourself quickly then you order you construct an identity h Now how this relates to uh construction of or maybe inheriting a religious worldview or religious tradition or some kind of other you know worldview that our culture that we we think is uh true because when we’re young whatever we’re told usually we’re going to believe for a while and we need that as many spirit ritual teachers would say it’s good it’s okay to start out conservative. You need to need to have a sense of belonging to a community and feel chosen in that. So the the story here is just like it is true for one person that you are negotiating between the one and the many and that sense of that orange ray coming out as that dance. Um, who am I? Constantly asking who am I in this? Well, that is true at a larger scale with these religious traditions. You’re born into it. Um, and it’s kind of like there’s one truth and then there’s but out there there’s many people telling you what is true. So, the one in the many. You know, there’s many churches or there’s many religions saying, “We’re the one, we’re the right one, we’re the right one.” And a religion would be an attempt at a macro level to provide that orange ray identity that we are this. You see, we are constructing an identity and and inside and and it’s supposed to be strong enough to weather the tension between the one and the many. the one truth, the many attempts at saying that they have the truth. And then that thing in the middle is our way, our culture, our religion that says this is how we know to follow that truth. And so many people um will stay inside of that construct, that order, that if you will, negotiation writ large between order, you know, the one and the many, the chaos of the many. And they’ll stay in that until we have a shock. Here’s the shock, the shock of something. So, um, what’s important here is, well, how how I have, uh, I’m not saying it’s important, but how I’ve described The construct is if if if you can picture this rectangle, huh? Inside of the rectangle, you have construct and order. When we have a shock, it’s as if a triangle, which is it’s it’s almost like a a knife. If you can think of a knife that just comes in and just arises and pierces that rectangle and splits it apart. Huh? That shock starts to split apart our construct, our order. And all of a sudden, what made sense in the old room, what made sense in the construct and the order doesn’t make sense anymore. We can’t unknow what we know. And this is deconstruction or disorder. Now, it is immensely painful. Uh people go through existential anxiety and depression and uh and often it leads to giving it all up nihilism. We either choose to commit um often some people will commit actual suicide or they will commit u kind of a suicide of the soul if you will giving it all up like I don’t care and I don’t even know and I don’t you know and and sort of choosing some form of the black pill. So of the blue pill or the red pill. It’s the black pill of nihilism. And it’s also important to know that the purpose of deconstruction and disorder is to let the cracks happen. And as Leonard Cohen said, cracks are how the light gets in. See? So the shock deconstructs our order. We’re thrust into liinal space and it’s all cracked up. All right. Now, here is where we have to do it ourselves and then we can help others perhaps weather the storm as well into reconstruction. And how this works I think is if I’m if I’m borrowing again from spiritual traditions and good psychology as well as the law of one. We move into the new room of our life or reconstruction and reorder. Uh we’ll move into that through basically one thing. In fact, you might say the key to moving from the deconstruction to the reconstru destruction. The key to opening that door is to die. Yeah. And so here we can start to see the Christian mythos of the the death and resurrection that or the how the cross saves the cross saves. Saves us. Saves us from what? The cross if we can bear the tension of the cross. Or you can even think of the cross as the coincidence of opposites. Huh? the tension if you can bear that tension strong enough well enough and with as much dignity and learn to say in a sense forgive them father for they know not what they do forgive me for I know not what I do I don’t even know what I what I don’t know there’s a there’s a way that we have to die to our need to reorder the disorder too quick. It’s kind of like uh if I want to bake a cake, I can’t turn the heat up to 500° and get it done quickly and instead of following the recipe, which might be, you know, 325 for a certain amount of time, it won’t work. Because if we try to force a reordering of the disorder or the deconstruction because we’re uncomfortable, if we try to force that, then we end up creating a new version of the the order box. We create a new version of the old room. Maybe we just add a second floor to an old house. So what we have to do is we have to I I try to think of the pathway between disorder and reorder or deconstruction and reconstruction. I try to think that in between there there’s a semi-permeable membrane and and we’ll talk more specifically where this might be located on the body. uh at the next slide. But the semi-permeable membrane is there and the only way through the semi-permeable membrane is forgiveness, love, and standing under or understanding of course, but I’m I’m really trying to emphasize standing under uh ourselves, seeing how we arrived at a certain state in our life, seeing how Others might be clinging to the construction order box because of fear, even if they never thought that they’re in fear. They’re in fear. For example, um I’m I’m noticing most of the Trump signs are down in my neighborhood now, but uh almost all of the Trump signs that are were in and around my neighborhood, it would be there was lots of different Trump signs, but the most common one was no fear. Trump, no fear. Like the words no fear. Okay. Well, that’s a dead giveaway for for that kind of uh that kind of need to say no fear. It’s a dead giveaway of there’s lots of fear and we need we need to have um a figure that we project our power upon who will guarantee us order and con construct in the midst of disorder. H so forgiveness is not necessarily saying oh everything is okay it’s really about uh for fo r comes from beforehand so think of it as I forgo or uh fornowledge huh it it’s beforehand and then give forgive the give part is is I’m giving something. What am I giving? I’m giving the other person and I’m giving myself the dignity of being on the path of evolution. I’m giving them the dignity of development because we are all the one infinite creator uh slowly evolving into the capacity to recognize that we are the one infinite creator with in in all the ways, not just uh concepts but um in other ways too. And so we’re giving each other the dignity of that development. Yeah. That allows us to move in some semblance of reconstruction and reorder. And it will be some kind of version of the order box in some ways, but whatever is is uh interpreted is going to be interpreted from a very different place. case and it would be usually seen from the perspective of the order box or the construct box. It would be seen as almost heretical. I’ll give you an example of that. Um so I can safely say in my own life that I affirm the uh doctrine of let’s say the body of Christ. But how I understand that is completely different than the order box or the construction the con construct box because a lot of Christians for example and how I was taught is unless you are you know baptized in this particular way and you are saying yes to this particular denomination unless you’re doing that you’re not a part of the body of Christ but my own deconstruction and disorder and I hope emerging into the reconstruction of my life is certainly following a white head but also following the raw material that every entity be it a proton or a universe is a part of this large one body the great body of the one infinite creator you see so that I can affirm if I’m using Christ as as a code name for wholeness made manifest then I can affirm the doctrine of the body of Christ that we’re make up the body of Christ But I understand it in a way that would be seen as heretical for a lot of Christian denominations. And the last thing I want to say about this slide is notice that the tension at the very beginning, the tension of the construct order if you remember between the one and the many. Well, now we have a tension in the reconstruction area between the heart, the green ray and the Blu-ray love and wisdom or wisdom. And what I mean by that is when a person is really landing inside when you can say I’ve gotten the graduate degree here of the reconstruction like this is a permanent more stable consciousness when you’re inside the the reconstruction of our lives. Well then It’s not just the heart. It’s not just a capacity to see and understand uh all the ways in which um order belongs and disorder belongs and and now I’m in reorder. It’s not just a capacity of seeing but it’s a necessary invitation. In fact, you might even call it a responsibility. Or calls it the law of responsibility, an honor duty to incarnate. through our actions some level of um planting seeds based upon what we know of love. So if if we have a sense of that love that understanding that capacity for receiving um through through compassion what somebody else might be going through and what we’re going through. We ha that understanding has to be incarnated. And that would be communicating. Um, and I I don’t mean communicating even just through talking. It’s communicating through actions. Uh, our embodiment needs to communicate this wisdom, this Blu-ray. And when we can do that with with a freedom that you you can be called a heretic, you can be called an outsider, you can be called, well, now I’m scared you’re going to hell and all that. And you can do so without being without having to react but a gentle response that’s assertive in your own sense of belonging. When we can do that then that is a good telltale sign that we have emerged in the reconstruction reorder and and made a house there. So the last thing I want to say is you can see actually how it might even uh work inside of the chakra system. So here I have the um diagram of the order, disorder, and reorder or the old room, liinal space, and new room. And I have that superimposed upon somebody sitting here with the seven chakras. And if you can see where that semi-p permeable membrane is, it’s located right above the solar plexus or third chakra and right below the heart. So for example, When we talk about deconstructing our um decon yeah deconstruction of our churches or whatever religion that we might have had, it is also true that we are always in the process if we’re paying attention. We’re in the process of deconstructing our ways to be right in the world or our our capa our ways to know that um we are deconstructing our ways to be in the world in new ways. So here’s an example. Let’s say I learned early on in my life that I had to be very strong and I couldn’t really trust anybody and I had to learn how to uh problem solve really early and make order out of chaos very quickly. I have a lot of clients like this. They learned it early on because they grew up in pretty chaotic places, you know, with people that were hurting a lot. So they they develop, let’s say, I develop a capacity. My identity is to be powerful. My identity is to match power with power and problem solve quickly, uh take control quickly before anybody else does because I’m not going to trust anybody else. Um And I I can learn to be very angry at people from a place of uh trying to survive. And that anger facilitates and is the energy of my um desire to protect myself or my loved ones. Well, as I continue to to grow, the the green that the green ray center is always beckoning the energy to come through and up. It it longs to to meet the energy that’s being drawn up. But normally, if I’m maintaining that bellosity, it’s going to hit that membrane and then go right back down and it’s going to create this closed loop that just fers, just gets hotter and hotter, you know, yet I’m restless. And I want the heart wants what the heart want. And so I have to learn that the only way I can allow this energy to come into my heart again is to die. Is die the need to the need to be correct and preference some level of connection some level of seeing the other or seeing myself as as cells in the same body even if I have to set boundaries. See But that’s that way that forgiveness and seeing is how I can go through and into the heart. So I move from the old room um construct my identity is firm and then all of a sudden I’m something happens in my life. I desire something better for myself. I want peace. I want some sense of equinimity. That’s when we have to die. And that breaks us open into the beginning of the reconstruction. Right? So anyways, I’m going to um that’s my the presentation here and I’m interested in hearing how you guys might be um thinking about it or uh what would you like to share or push back? Yeah.
Well, I could say I could say a lot. things. I think I’ve this has been my path for the last four or five years and um I think just an interesting tweak to that that I’m still trying to uncover a little bit is I think um you know as you go through that liinal space I think there instead of having one permeable line and moving into a new room I think I could be wrong but I think sometimes times it, you know, it’s not just one liinal space and now you’ve arrived. I think you could probably draw like maybe four or five lines and four or five new rooms maybe and each one is progress sometimes. I think sometimes you could also think you’re in the new room and like you said Doug, you know, all you did was redecorate uh and it’s really the old room. It just looks different. But I think that’s where some people I think even with like the raw material. And there’s some people out there who have this enlightenment, but then they kind of go back to the orange chakra or the yellow or that it’s it’s fear. And anyway, they they don’t quite move. But I think even if you are moving forward, I think I’ve noticed that, you know, as I worked through liinal space a couple years ago, I was like, okay, I’m moving through liinal space. I’ve deconstructed kind of my my religious thoughts, my heaven and hell, is Christianity the only way? you know, reincarn all these kind of things. But I think it’s also um a psychological evolution, too. So, I realized, okay, I made I thought I’d made it through kind of like I’m done. I’m doing reconstruction. I’m there. And it’s like, well, okay, maybe maybe there’s still some more liinal space. Maybe you have there’s a patch of a new room and then some more liinal space to go through that kind of works you through all the way. So, anyway, there’s more I could say, but I’ll I’ll uh hang up and listen. Ashton,
you’re on mute there. Doug, if you trying to say
read your poem to everybody.
Yeah, I was going to ask Ashton weighed in here with a poem. Would you mind reading it with your beautiful voice?
Nothing like a redneck reading uh Tahard. You know, that’s what we all need. Um so yeah, this is just a um I I feel like I share this often and I the reason I was able to access it so fast is I shared it with a friend today. Um but I think Matt this speaks to kind of what you were talking about just to echo uh I think we all have various areas of our lives that are in liinal space and we we’ve got areas where we’re in a um a room we’ve been in for a long time but we’re also in some areas of our lives where we’re in we’re in the new room. We’re in that place of liberation. We’re in that place of freedom and peace. Um and it it’s it’s this pattern of everything, right? I I think Matt, just to carry on what you’re talking about, um it’s just going to keep repeating itself. That new room is actually going to become an old room again at some point. Um and when the knife hits, you know, great love and great suffering gets us over into the next room, like it or not. So, um anyway, yeah, this is from uh Pierre Tahard Desard. A lot of you guys probably have read some of his stuff. The divine maloo um I forget what else he wrote, but he’s uh a lot Catholic priest from many many years ago. Above all, trust in the slow work of God. We are quite naturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay. We should like to skip the intermediate stages. We are impatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new. And yet, it is the law of all progress that it is made by passing through some stages of instability, disorder, and that it may take a very long time. And so, I think it is with you, your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow. Let them shape themselves without undue haste. Don’t try to force them on. as though you could be today what time, that is to say, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will make of you tomorrow. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be. Give our Lord the benefit of believing that his hand is leading you and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself in suspense and incomplete. Um, so I I I think we need refreshing words in liinal space. We need uh elders like Tahard to say, “Hey, this is you’re in on the joke. If you’re in the liinal space, you’re you’re in you’re in the good stuff. Keep going.” Um so I I share that as a gift. And while it’s hard to um in all of our various liinal spaces in life, uh be comfortable there, I do think we can be um what’s the word I want to use? Nurtured there. Um, welcomed there with other people that are on the journey. Um, even just language of saying, “Oh, that’s right. It’s supposed to be a little bumpy here. This is just part of it.” I think just that was so helpful for me in my journey years ago was just some language on this path. Right. Um, so I think Doug, great words as always. Um, the weird thing that stuck out to me on that image, I haven’t seen that image before, uh, was it looked like about 60% of it was uh, disorder. It looked like about 25% is in rooms where we’re comfortable. 25% are in the new ahas, the new state of seeing new eyes and then 60% was um what on earth is going on here? Um so
that’s where the fun is.
Yeah. So sorry I was long.
No, beautiful. Thank you so much. Yeah. Um I I love what you’re saying. Would would anybody care to share what you’ve heard so far, how it’s been resonating and or also maybe a a quick uh story about your own deconstruction journey, like maybe where did you come from and and where you’re hoping to go just so that we can maybe see ourselves in in somebody’s journey.
Um yeah, I guess I’ll share.
Well, thank you, Chris.
Uh so, yeah, your illustration. So, oh, and just, you know, so everyone kind of knows, I mean, like and Doug knows, like I’m kind of like we’ve talked a bit about the the raw material in the law of one and um I see a lot of like overlap with uh at least some of what what Doug’s told me um and kind of like my own kind of place where I’m at in my you know trying to like uh construct a you know a world view or understanding of a reality or what do you however you want to uh say it. Um but yeah, I mean I’m still kind of like skeptical about the especially the origins of it and things like that, you know, but um the actual content uh uh is is intriguing and like I said overlap a lot with what I’ve been uh thinking in the past few years. And I’m kind of like on my third deconstruction. Um my I grew up uh in the Assemblies of God church. So it’s like a pen the largest Pentecostal church in uh the world. Um and actually the church I I grew up in um was the home church and of uh Jim Baker. So, just fun fact, uh my dad actually knew Jim Baker growing up and uh yeah, so I don’t know, that was kind of where I grew up and uh in that church and then I also attended a Baptist uh school um and graduated from there. Um I was kind of like the I don’t know typical kind of like on fire for Jesus going to youth group, you know, uh multiple times a week playing in praise bands and all that. So, um and my first deconstru was kind of more just around like uh kind of like politics and kind of breaking away from that kind of like conservative right-wing thought and then also um kind of realizing that like oh um you know Jesus kind of hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors and was you know kind of mixing it up with with those you know people and um just kind of becoming more aware of uh I don’t know just kind of the bubble I was I was raised in. Um, and then my second deconstruction kind of led to a period where I was just kind of like a Christian agnostic. So I would say that like you can’t really know that there’s you know any god or any sort of you know anything like that. Um so but but you know things about Christianity make sense to me and I can see um how you know you can live a a fulfilling life and and yeah actually if everyone followed Jesus’s teachings the world would be a a better place and and so it was true in that sense at least right but you know I could you know you you could know for sure you know about about anything and I mean you know of course to a certain degree that’s still you know that that’s true but my um my latest kind of deconstruction and reconstruction has been more around non-duality um you know so I was kind of raised you know being very uh you know skeptical towards anything of like Eastern religions or like you know what was you the new age that was kind of like a boogeyman you know growing up. So um but there’s just been between just me kind of like pondering things and then also I um I’m a therapist and as well and uh you know I’ve been really intrigued by um the the kind of psychedelic renaissance that’s been going on and all the studies that John Hop um on psilocybin. So um I you know obtained some mushrooms and I did some trips of my own and I’ve kind of become a little bit of a psychonaut and um and I mean that was just like you know experiences that like you know once you experience it you can’t unexperience it right and it was like it really I mean I experienced ego dissolution and um just this sense of like everything is one thing and it’s all kind of cyclical. and moving towards something. But, you know, um yeah, it just it just completely like I said, it was something that you you can’t unsee once you see it. And so, on the one hand, like oh, and then also like starting to learn about like I don’t know if anyone on here is familiar with uh uh the philosopher Bernardo Castro um but he’s pioneering something called he calls analytic idealism. Um And then I’ve learned a lot about pansychism and just kind of these more cons consciousness based ontologies. So that coupled with, you know, the psychedelic experiences have really kind of uh just, you know, I’ve I’ve gone in a completely, you know, different direction in thinking about this stuff. And um so anyway, um but like I said, like one of the insights I’ve gotten is, you know, that there’s a cyclicalness to everything and that, you know, going through these deconstructions and reconstruction. I mean, I’m to the point where I’m like, you know, like you’re going, if you’re growing, you’re always going through a deconstruction and reconstruction process. And sometimes you’re doing multiple at the same time, you know. Um, and you know, for a while, I I attended uh for a long long time Marcel Bible Church in Grand Rapids, which was founded by Rob Bell, if anyone’s familiar with who he is. Um, And I went there for about 22 years. But uh shoot, what was I saying? Um Oh man, I just blanked out. So my deconstruct Oh yeah. Yeah. So anyway, when I was attending there, I started a group um called uh case intention, and it was just like a group that I was trying to start um for people who were kind of like in that deconstruction phase. And like this was kind of before the whole deconstruction thing became really, you know, it kind of blew up. Um, but I was sensing that there was kind of probably a need, you know, people were questioning more and more. So, I started this group called Peace and Tension. And the idea was that, you know, you either, you know, being okay with either, you know, being in that kind of tension of of kind of deconstruction and kind of like just not knowing, you know, or being able to find peace. And something I was thinking about as I was watching Doug’s presentation was, you know, it’s not really like an either or I think that the the real goal is to be able to be at peace in the tension, you know, like you’re never going to get there, right? Like if reality is infinite, you’re never going to like you’re you’re going to always be entering new rooms, right? Like uh you know, and and you can continue to kind of build as far as your understanding of of reality and whatnot, but you’re never going to, you know, you’re never going to arrive at the end of the journey. You know, there’s always going to be more to to discover and and to kind of um yeah, to to be, you know, there’s always going to be those aha moments in the future. So, but and and the goal is, like I said, to to to kind of come to the point where like you’re fine with that. You’re fine that there’s always going to be something else and you’re always going to kind of be in a state of like becoming. Um which is kind of, you know, a white headian thing, I think. Um but to just be like just to be cool with that, you know? And I think that’s really that’s a huge challenge for people because people always want to, you know, get to that destination. It’s like, yeah, you’re not going to rise there.
Yeah. Chris, I’m hearing you say that we can learn to be one foot on the uh crucifixion and one foot in the resurrection at the same time.
Yeah.
Rudy, I’m curious uh how is this landing with you at all? Paul. Oh, I know you can hate me for picking on you, but I You’re always so wise, and I’m just wondering. Would you like to weigh in? It’s okay if you don’t.
I would I would I would love to weigh in. I’m laughing because I was just about to uh be in a in a plate of food in a way that would have rendered me indisposed because I was eating rice. I’m very glad that you called when you did see that psychic gift.
We’re deconstructing your pattern. Um I think that I felt a lot of I felt a lot of resonance um in in listening my my path, my journey, my story and my life is very very very very different but like multiple phases of of deconstruction. It was really comforting um and um and very affirming to hear that um going through multiple phases um is something that that that happens um that that is that is out there. I I was aware, but um hearing it up close is great. And shout out to the psychonauts. I see you. I see you. Um and the thing that’s come up um for me in in this session the most is um when you were talking about the uh the bellacosity inherent in a f***** up childhood. I was like, “Bro, you’re calling out everybody’s f****** bingo cards tonight, dude.” Um, and I think that that’s so important and that’s one of the uh growing edges of my walk right now is having a conversation with all of that that heat as it disperses itself. And it’s not it’s not responding to, you know, any like uh apherisms or or hallmark card Hallmark card b******* that I might give it. It needs like something really to work with and something really to do. So, I’m trying to meet it there. And um I appreciate the the material and the raw material and uh the group for keeping me company as I engage in that madness.
We’re all in it together. Thank you.
And Mar is our local expert on trusting in the slow work of God. Aren’t you Rudy,
I just got trolled. I love it.
Trolled by Troy.
I’m a very impatient human being. That’s what he’s referring to.
Thank you, Rudy. Um, thank you, Chris, so much for sharing. Anybody else would like to weigh in? We have about five more minutes. I’d love to hear if there was somebody else that was touched or has a a quick quick story.
Doug, I was kind of struck with the one and the many in the beginning in in the old room and then, you know, in that green and Blu-ray place of tension, the one and the many have so come back into play for me with with the oneness being, you know, that disarming realization that I’m a divine being having a human experience and which would have been total heresy to me before some major major oh gosh total uh falling apart with some major panic attacks and different things in my life. But the second of which was like a crucifixion and and finally letting go and dying. Uh I thought I was going to die and and I was buoied up by such an amazing benevolence with the universe that God was much more of an an a theory but just a a fuller revelation because I don’t know how to explain it but that’s the tension I think of living in now is is the oneness of we’re all divine beings expressing as the many all these varied unique expressions of divinity and being in that relationship ship which is really a return to that unity that we began in you know I don’t know wherever Charardane would put that as far back you know or uh but anyway that really struck me that it’s another one and many uh tension going on at least for me right now with that
thank you my brother yeah it repeats even in unitive consciousness go through the one in the many negotiation. Yes. Beautiful. Thank you. Demarcus, did you have any thoughts or is this resonating at all or what what what are some
Yeah, it did. Um, everything everyone said resonated. I guess my mind kind of went to the microscopic and how this is beautifully reflected in nature um and what the creator goes through on the micro the macroscopic level. Um, you know, there’s infinity and paradoxically it goes through the limit space. sacrifice of itself um in order to funnel itself into infinity. Um and then on the other side of that is of course you know there’s chaos especially when you look at the very beginnings of any physical creation or solar system there’s a lot of chaos and just a lot of um randomness going on and then eventually over time there begins to be order and structure and then beauty. Um so this my mind just kind of went to the microscopic level. and how we as a creator in miniature how our personal kind of deconstructions and transformations reflect that on a smaller scale.
Well, you went microscopic but also macroscopic and beautiful. You went cosmic, I guess. Yeah.
Excellent. Okay. Um guys, this was a quick hour. Would anybody like to to close us down? And next week we will be doing a law of one session. So, we’ll be coming up with um a way to talk about that in dialogue. But would anybody like to to close this down and close the closing invocation?
I’ll do it.
Okay, Matt. Thank you. Um Lord, creator, universe, we we come to you and we lift each other up in this time of uh reflection and self-awareness and awareness of the world around us. Um we I show great gratitude to the space that we’re in. Um each space that we’re in I think is a is a blessing sometimes in disguise but it’s a gift and I hope that uh each of us can be see the benevolence in those times when we need it and that we can recognize the the love and the beauty around us with everyone. So that when we can uh see the bellacosity or the fundamentalism or the hate or whatever it is, we can accept it with open arms as they are and understanding that we we were once in that place as well. Maybe looked a little different, but still in that place. So, uh be with us as we go out tomorrow and the rest of this weekend, this week as we uh try to push forth the green and blue rays that we can and it’s in Jesus name we pray. Amen.
Building 4th Cosmic Christ 